National Palumboism Awareness Day

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What is Palumboism or Palumbism ?

Palumboism is a rare, complex disease only seen in the nether ranks of competitive bodybuilders.

The condition is first characterised by the sudden development of an enormous midsection whereby the entire width of the trunk, ribcage and pelvis grows disproportionately whilst the oblique muscles will thicken rapidly and the abdomen will become distended with the patient unable to hold in their stomach.

The condition is further characterised by chronic metamorphases of the facial and cranial features, culminating in thick folds of dermal tissue round the mouth and thickening of the Levator labii. Mandibular and mental protuberance hypertrophy and overall cranial hyperplasia, accompanied by a dramatic increase in the size of the frontal ridge follows. Premature aging is also common with Palumboism

A particularly spectacular symptom used to confirm diagnosis are disproportionally small limbs on the otherwise gigantic upper body. This is first observed in the upper limbs, where the arms seem to remain in a catabolic shrinking state compared to the torso who's internal structures are growing out of control in all directions. The reasons for this are not yet understood. The quadraceps muscles of the legs also seem to be ever shrinking.

Overall a more neanderthal type structure develops:

In advanced Palumboism the outer dermis takes on a crackly brittle look, almost as if the patient has been glazed or varnished like a ceramic souvenier. The color of the skin will become uneven displaying varying hues and shades from grey to bright orange throughout the entire body, whilst the skin may appear weathered and abnormally aged.

There may also be a high level of vascular distension which never seems to go away in the patient, this will often result in veins having a 'worn out' apperance.

Perhaps the most unusual and distressing issue is that the patient seems totally unaware of what is happening to him.

Post mortem examination of patients sometimes reveals large quantities of a foreign oil-like substance in the biceps and anterior deltoid muscle heads.


What causes Palumboism ?

It is not fully known what causes the disease, although it is speculated that a genetic predisposition combined with an over reliance on high and never ending doses of various anabolic drugs accompanied by a gradual 'shut down' or mutation of the patient's own endiginous endocrine system possibly awakening dormant cro-magnonesque genes are causative factors.

Although Palumboism shares some symptoms with Acromegaly it should not be confused due to the additional conditions described above when making a diagnosis.


Treatments

There is no known cure for Palumboism, as long as the patient remains on his drug regimen there is little comfort and the condition will continue to deteriorate.

Promptly discontinuing drug use may halt further development of the condition although it cannot be fully reversed.

Palumboism in women

Although Palumboism can occur in the female sex it is extremely rare for the condition to reach the advanced stages witnessed in men, therefore accurate and prompt diagnosis becomes more difficult.

Whilst it should be noted that female Palumboism must not be directly confused with the seperate condition of virilization which is more commonly encountered, more cases of female Palumboism are being diagnosed and reported everyday.